The beginning of something is important to me. Not only is this beginning of my journal important to me for historical reasons, but because I also reveal motivations for beginning such a project, which has proved very long term indeed.
October 31, 1996|
What an unusual time to
start a journal! Or perhaps it's not. Celtic neo-pagans regard Halloween as
the beginning of the new year. They believe death begins the
cycle of life. Where ever you point to on the cycle of death-birth-
regeneration, it is all an unending circle. So this is as good
a time to start a journal as any.
I used to keep a journal twenty years ago. Can it be that long
ago? And then for a couple of years ten years back I also
recorded the events of my life. I got re-inspired by a
web site of someone we are to meet this coming Saturday. Becky kept
a journal which she called "Real Life Test" when she began
transition from male to female. Her story is full of
tidbits to help the reader visualize what was happening to
And thus this journal begins. Halloween, with the chilling air of
the changing seasons, is always a moody time of the year. As
leaves decay, I think about my own mortality. What if I
don't get the fifty more years I hope for? What if death comes
early? What have I done with my life? Am I living as fully as I
can? For that is the only revenge against the
eventually all too certain grim reaper.
For instance, if I were to write a poem every day, I would have 365
poems in a year, and shortly have an impressive body of work. If
I were ambitious, I could do that. Can I be that ambitious?
slowly rises in the sky
She is round and full.
Wispy grey clouds pass by.
For awhile the moon is not seen,
She shines undercover.
© Joan Ann Lansberry
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